Hey I'm Delaney and I'm from Alaska. I'm 17 and I become obsessed with things easily.
Weddings are weird because you know in like six hours theyre gonna be having sex
every time I switch tabs it’s like BAM SURPRISE ENZYME PARTY
i’m 600% done
my sister just came home and i asked her why she was an hour late since today was orientation and she goes, “i had detention” and i’m like how the fuck do you get detention on orientation day and she says, “when i walked into my homeroom my teacher asked all of us why we came to this school and i told her i came to fuck bitches”
So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized
Dr. Robert Evans
I looked it up
My dentist is Captain America’s dad
My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband.
JK Rowling’s husband has asked me if I am sexually active.